Divorce by Mutual Consent in Belgium: How Can Family Mediation Help?

Deciding to divorce is a major step. But once that decision has been made, there are still many practical questions to resolve.

What will happen to the family home? How will the children divide their time between their parents? How will expenses be shared? And how can both spouses reach agreements they feel comfortable with?

In Belgium, divorce by mutual consent allows married couples to agree on these matters together before submitting their divorce application to the family court.

Family mediation can help couples reach those agreements, even when they don't see eye to eye on every issue.

What is divorce by mutual consent?

Divorce by mutual consent is known as echtscheiding door onderlinge toestemming (EOT) in Dutch and divorce par consentement mutuel in French.

It is a procedure for married couples who both wish to divorce and are able to agree on the consequences of their separation.

However, agreeing that the marriage has come to an end does not always mean that everything else is settled.

You may both want to divorce but have different ideas about what should happen to your home, how much time the children should spend with each parent, or how your finances should be divided.

Before a divorce by mutual consent can proceed, the necessary arrangements must be agreed upon and recorded in writing.

What do you need to agree on?

Every family situation is different, but there are several important matters that spouses generally need to address.

If you have children, you will need to make arrangements concerning parental responsibilities, where the children will live or stay, and how their expenses will be shared.

This includes everyday questions that are easy to overlook. How will school holidays be organised? Who will pay for extracurricular activities? What happens if a child needs unexpected medical treatment?

Thinking through these situations in advance can help avoid misunderstandings later on.

Financial and property matters also need attention. Depending on your circumstances, you may need to decide what happens to the family home, how savings and other assets will be divided, who will take responsibility for existing debts, and whether maintenance payments between spouses are appropriate.

Some of these decisions are straightforward. Others require more discussion or additional financial information.

The important thing is that both spouses understand the arrangements they are making and what those arrangements will mean in practice.

How can family mediation help?

You do not need to have everything worked out before contacting a family mediator.

In fact, many couples consider mediation precisely because they agree on certain matters but are struggling to find common ground on others.

Perhaps one spouse wants to sell the family home while the other would prefer to stay. Or both parents want to remain closely involved in their children's lives but disagree on how to organise their time.

During mediation, we can look at these questions together, explore the different possibilities and discuss what might work for your particular circumstances.

As an accredited family mediator, my role is to facilitate these conversations in a neutral and structured way.

I help both spouses explain what matters to them, understand each other's concerns and consider possible solutions. I don't make decisions for you or take either person's side.

There may be issues that can be resolved quite quickly and others that require several discussions. Sometimes additional information or professional advice is needed before a decision can be made.

You remain responsible for the agreements you reach, and neither spouse is expected to accept an arrangement they are not comfortable with.

What if you own a house together?

For many separating couples, deciding what to do with the family home is one of the biggest questions.

You may decide to sell the property and divide the proceeds, or one spouse may wish to take over the other's share.

If one spouse wants to keep the home, there are several practical and financial issues to consider.

What is the property worth? How will the other spouse be compensated? Can the spouse who wants to stay obtain the necessary financing? And what will happen to the existing mortgage?

These questions often need to be explored together before either spouse can make an informed decision.

Mediation can help you discuss the options and work towards an arrangement that takes both perspectives into account.

If your divorce arrangements involve a house, apartment or other real estate, a notary may need to be involved. For example, a notarial deed is required if one spouse takes over the other's share of a jointly owned property, or if the spouses agree to continue owning it together as part of their divorce arrangements.

What happens once you have reached an agreement?

Once you have agreed on the necessary arrangements, these need to be put into the appropriate legal documents.

As an accredited family mediator, I can assist with preparing the necessary agreements concerning financial and family matters, including the regelingsakte in Dutch and the conventions préalables au divorce par consentement mutuel in French. I can also assist with preparing the verzoekschrift (requête en divorce par consentement mutuel), the application submitted to the family court.

Where a notarial deed is required, the relevant arrangements must be handled by a notary.

The agreements and application are then submitted to the family court. The court checks whether the legal requirements have been met, including the provisions concerning children.

In principle, divorce by mutual consent follows a written procedure, so spouses do not usually need to appear personally before the court. However, the judge can require them to attend if necessary.

If the legal conditions are satisfied, the court pronounces the divorce.

Do you need to agree on everything before starting mediation?

No. You can begin mediation while there are still important questions to discuss.

You might already have a good idea of how you want to organise the children's living arrangements but be unsure about the financial consequences of separating.

Or perhaps you and your spouse have discussed several options but haven't yet managed to reach a final agreement.

You don't need to arrive at the first mediation meeting with all the answers.

What matters is that both of you are willing to participate, listen to each other and explore possible arrangements.

Mediation is voluntary, and both spouses must be able to express themselves freely and make informed decisions.

Mediation may not be appropriate in every situation, particularly where there are serious safety concerns or where one spouse cannot participate freely or on an equal footing.

It is also important to understand that mediation does not guarantee an agreement. Some differences may remain unresolved despite everyone's efforts.

Finding a way forward

Divorce by mutual consent does not mean that every decision will be easy or that you and your spouse need to agree on everything from the beginning.

It means that you are prepared to work towards the arrangements needed to end your marriage by mutual agreement.

Family mediation offers a structured setting in which to have those discussions, consider the practical consequences and work towards agreements that reflect your family's circumstances.

If you are considering divorce by mutual consent in Belgium and would like to explore whether mediation could help, you are welcome to get in touch to discuss your situation.